Video Of The Week: ‘She Asked For It’

Laci Green is an awesome public figure and YouTuber that focuses on all things to do with sex education, rights and rape culture.

The ridiculous notion of ‘She Asked For It’ in existing rape mythology is the belief that a victim ‘asked for’ or ‘wanted’ their abuse or harassment because of their clothing, their actions or their situation.

Laci tackles this ongoing issue within rape culture in the video below and it’s well worth watching for her entertaining and brutally honest insight into rape culture and victim blaming.

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The Oscar Pistorius Effect

Last week Oscar Pistorius was sentenced to five years in prison for the 2013 shooting death of his then-girlfriend, model Reeva Steenkamp.

However, he will most likely only be serving 10 months of this sentence in prison, while the rest of the time will be under house arrest.

Am I the only one that think’s Oscar Pistorius’ punishment is absolutely ridiculous in it’s leniency and not at all representative of the crime he committed?

Columnist Allison Pearson in her article “Another black day for Reeva Steenkamp and all women” hit the nail on the head when she said that ‘Oscar will do the sort of stint in prison you give to a petty thief, not someone who has stolen a young woman’s life from her.”

“So now at least we know. We know what a woman’s life is worth….for this casual monstrosity, Oscar Pistorius was handed a five-year term, of which he will serve only one sixth in jail. After that, he will be under house arrest and will be free to see family and friends, to feel the sun on his face, to make love to another blonde.”

“For Oscar the bereft, Oscar the remorseful, Oscar who was so distressed about losing his soul-mate that he had trouble getting his facts straight, is said to have started a relationship with another model. Well, fancy that.”

Pistorius was “jealous and insecure”. In a text message, Reeva had told her boyfriend: “I am scared of you sometimes and how you snap at me.”

Can you imagine if Reeva was the one that was jealous and insecure? It would be a different story. It seems like if you’re a woman and you’re jealous and insecure you’re deemed by your partner as ‘crazy’.  If you’re woman who is in a relationship with a jealous and insecure man… well there’s a greater likelihood of abuse or murder. (Yes I realise that’s a gross assumption… but I’m all kinds of angry at the moment)

It can be argued that in many ways Pistorius’ overt displays of emotional distress in court saved him from people seeing what he truly was – a perpetrator of sexual violence. If the roles were reversed, this would have been what doomed Reeva to a harsher sentence in jail.

As Daily Life columnist Dan Hodges points out, “She was a woman. And he is a man. So she is dead. And this time next year, Oscar Pistorius will be free.”

This case is not just an example of the completely warped sentencing for abusers but is also a reflection of the issues surrounding domestic violence and perceptions of such violence.

In the same 20-month window since Reeva Steenkamp was killed, an estimated 2361 women in South Africa (where Steenkamp lived) have been killed by their partners. That’s about 27 women every week. Or almost 4 women a day.

While responsibility lies with the perpetrator, at least some of these deaths could be prevented if more of us spoke up when we suspect domestic violence.

But why don’t we?

In some homes and communities domestic violence is normalised and it may be considered futile to intervene. People often take the it’s ‘none of my business’ approach for fear of revenge, uncertainty or a lack of confidence in the police system – supported by the utter incompetence of many courts to give justice to victims.

The more we talk about domestic violence, the more we educate everyone on the circumstances of abuse, the more we combat the ignorance and injustice that plagues conversations surround abuse and assault.

Let’s not turn a blind eye. Let’s make sure Reeva Steenkamp and all the victims of domestic violence do not die or suffer for nothing. Let’s change the conversation.

“As we mourn for Reeva Steenkamp, and all those others who have died at the hands of partners, it’s vital that we see the bigger picture. Because Reeva Steenkamp may have died alone. But her death does not stand in isolation.”

What do you think of Pistorius’ sentence?

 

Cosplay Does Not Equal Consent

Female attendance at fan conventions is growing rapidly with an estimated women making up an estimated 41percent of attendees at conventions.

Many women are also joining the cosplaying scene and dressing up as fantasy characters, quickly becoming a fixture at the pop culture conventions.

However, many women in the cosplay community identify that fans are taking the fantasy too far with one quarter of the women who attend conventions claiming they have been sexually harassed at some point.

Female fans complain of unwanted leering, groping and catcalling with also shocking reports of fans taking upskirt photos of costumed attendees.

There are calls for conventions to do more with San Diego Comic Con claiming that staff and security guards are on hand to help anyone who is being harassed. And the inclusion of note in the packet given to attendees stating, ‘Harassing or offensive behavior will not be tolerated. Comic-Con reserves the right to revoke, without refund, the membership and badge of any attendee not in compliance with this policy.’ But is it really enough?

Seattle’s Emerald City Comic Con but up a better effort to combat harassment than it’s San Diego counterpart with it’s  ‘zero tolerance policy’ toward harassment. Information about how “Cosplay is Not Consent!” is placed all over their venue, website, and event-guide combined with a hosted panel on preventing harassment.

But the very fact that such measures are necessary and needed is disappointing.

“It makes me sad that you have to tell people, ‘Don’t sexually harass another individual,’” said cosplayer Claudia M., dressed as Connor from the video game Assassin’s Creed. “We’re all here to do the one thing we love, which is just geek out together.”

As a fan of cosplay and occasional cosplayer it is incredibly upsetting to hear about the rise in sexual harassment claims at fan conventions such as Comic Con.

I don’t understand the reasoning behind people that think they can take advantage of cosplayers because they may be wearing a costume that shows some skin.

Women should be able to express their passion in whatever manner and enjoy being part of a cosplay community without the fear of become negatively attacked or harassed for their gender or their costume.

What do you think about the issue of harassment in fan conventions?

 

Angry Rant Sunday: Reddit’s Disgusting New Pro-Rape Message Board

 

It’s time for angry rant Sunday.

I’d like to thank the author of a Reddit ‘pro-rape’ message board entitled “The Philosophy of Rape” for turning a lovely Sunday into a pile of poop.

This message board was set up two weeks ago and the creator has posted a disgusting welcome post which essentially explains that rape has a “very important function in mitigating female behaviour and keeping it in check.”

But oh no, it doesn’t just stop there.

Messages go on to compare women to children with “absolutely no boundaries and no discipline” to targeting “selfie taking, filthy, unmitigated, sluts” before suggesting it is “for the good of society these women need to be raped.”

And what’s easily the most horrifying sentence in the history of ever, “It’s not only morally justifiable to rape such a woman, it’s brave.”

Trust me, it gets worse.

The board even claims to be the place that will teach you how to do it safely. That’s right, there’s such a thing as ‘safe rape’….‘Rape boldly, rape bravely, But when you do it, rape safely!’ and ‘Study reveals female rape victims enjoyed the experience.’

WHAT EVEN IS THAT? THAT IS NOT A THING.

I’m just… I’m baffled.

Fortunately, the majority of those who have joined the message board did  with the best intentions, to shut the board down. One member even claimed they reported the board to the FBI.

Thank heavens there are still sensible people in the world.

Ladies and Gentlemen, this message board is really an example of rape culture at it’s finest.

What on earth possesses someone to think that RAPING SOMEONE is BENEFICIAL to society. It makes me so mad that there are people out there like this that think this is perfectly okay, and have reasoned in their heads that this is a good thing to do.

It just sickens me!

What do you think of this horrifying message board?

 

#WhyIStayed: The Twitter Hashtag that sparked an important conversation on domestic violence.

TMZ released footage of American NFL player Ray Rice violently attacking his ‘now wife’ Janay Palmer back in February. His former team, The Ravens, cut all ties with Rice and he was suspended indefinitely from the NFL.

But why is this relevant?

Well, while many were appalled at his actions and supportive of Rice’s punishment, many people including this lovely Fox News reporter pointed the blame towards his wife, for sticking with him.

“Let’s not all jump on the bandwagon of demonizing this guy,” said Fox News contributor Ben Carson. “He obviously has some real problems, and his wife obviously knows that, because she subsequently married him.”

Ladies and Gentleman, this is victim blaming in a nut shell.

It’s important to recognise that no one, in any form of abuse situation is responsible for their abuse. Something I’m not sure this Fox News reporter quite understands… and which some people on Twitter were happy to correct for him.

So what sparked the #WhyIStayed conversation on Twitter?

In response to an alarming trend on Twitter where people who viewed the video were asking ‘why did she marry him?’ and ‘why didn’t she leave him?’ instead of ‘why did he hit her?’ writer Beverly Gooden decided to flip the focus of the conversation to draw awareness to the underlying complexities of domestic violence.

She called on her followers to share their stories of domestic abuse with the hashtag #WhyIStayed and within a few hours, thousands of Twitter users were voicing their support and sharing their experiences.

“When the overwhelming public voice is of shame, you can get lost in the guilt. You can feel voiceless. I want people to know that they have a voice! That they have the power. That’s so critical, that survivors feel empowered.” said Ms Gooden.

Screen Shot 2014-10-02 at 1.09.18 pm Screen Shot 2014-10-02 at 1.08.54 pm

These conversations are important in shifting the myths surrounding harassment and assault. Ignorance is often the main contributor to these myths and it is important that we continue to share and voice our own experiences because victim shaming is never okay.

Do you think the #WhyIStayed twitter conversation was helpful in raising awareness?

Source: http://mic.com/articles/98326/19-why-istayed-tweets-that-everyone-needs-to-see?utm_source=policymicFB&utm_medium=main&utm_campaign=social

Victim Blaming 101

Unfortunately, victim blaming is deeply embedded in our culture.

There is a visible and pervasive culture of harassment and disrespect towards victims of sexual assault. It is easier for society to blame the victim than admit overarching systematic problems.

Rape culture can be defined as discourse that unconsciously tolerates and normalizes violence against women and sexual coercion in a way that views rape as inevitable and the victim to blame.

Telling a man or woman they should have prevented their own attack puts the responsibility on the victim, and not the person who SHOULD be held accountable. The problem of instructing potential victims to avoid rape or victim-blaming sexual assault survivors is that it puts the burden of responsibility of preventing rape on the victim instead of the perpetrator.

There is an urgent need to shift the culture away from the ‘myths’ that shame survivors into silence. To change this, we must rethink the way we view victims of abuse both personally and through stories in the media and be aware of the effect such thinking can have on people.

This social project aims to shed light upon this victim blaming culture in an effort to raise awareness and understanding of the effects such thinking can have on victims, potential victims and society as a whole.

Because if we can recognise it, we can stop it.

#thisisnotashamegame