Video Of The Week: ‘She Asked For It’

Laci Green is an awesome public figure and YouTuber that focuses on all things to do with sex education, rights and rape culture.

The ridiculous notion of ‘She Asked For It’ in existing rape mythology is the belief that a victim ‘asked for’ or ‘wanted’ their abuse or harassment because of their clothing, their actions or their situation.

Laci tackles this ongoing issue within rape culture in the video below and it’s well worth watching for her entertaining and brutally honest insight into rape culture and victim blaming.

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The Oscar Pistorius Effect

Last week Oscar Pistorius was sentenced to five years in prison for the 2013 shooting death of his then-girlfriend, model Reeva Steenkamp.

However, he will most likely only be serving 10 months of this sentence in prison, while the rest of the time will be under house arrest.

Am I the only one that think’s Oscar Pistorius’ punishment is absolutely ridiculous in it’s leniency and not at all representative of the crime he committed?

Columnist Allison Pearson in her article “Another black day for Reeva Steenkamp and all women” hit the nail on the head when she said that ‘Oscar will do the sort of stint in prison you give to a petty thief, not someone who has stolen a young woman’s life from her.”

“So now at least we know. We know what a woman’s life is worth….for this casual monstrosity, Oscar Pistorius was handed a five-year term, of which he will serve only one sixth in jail. After that, he will be under house arrest and will be free to see family and friends, to feel the sun on his face, to make love to another blonde.”

“For Oscar the bereft, Oscar the remorseful, Oscar who was so distressed about losing his soul-mate that he had trouble getting his facts straight, is said to have started a relationship with another model. Well, fancy that.”

Pistorius was “jealous and insecure”. In a text message, Reeva had told her boyfriend: “I am scared of you sometimes and how you snap at me.”

Can you imagine if Reeva was the one that was jealous and insecure? It would be a different story. It seems like if you’re a woman and you’re jealous and insecure you’re deemed by your partner as ‘crazy’.  If you’re woman who is in a relationship with a jealous and insecure man… well there’s a greater likelihood of abuse or murder. (Yes I realise that’s a gross assumption… but I’m all kinds of angry at the moment)

It can be argued that in many ways Pistorius’ overt displays of emotional distress in court saved him from people seeing what he truly was – a perpetrator of sexual violence. If the roles were reversed, this would have been what doomed Reeva to a harsher sentence in jail.

As Daily Life columnist Dan Hodges points out, “She was a woman. And he is a man. So she is dead. And this time next year, Oscar Pistorius will be free.”

This case is not just an example of the completely warped sentencing for abusers but is also a reflection of the issues surrounding domestic violence and perceptions of such violence.

In the same 20-month window since Reeva Steenkamp was killed, an estimated 2361 women in South Africa (where Steenkamp lived) have been killed by their partners. That’s about 27 women every week. Or almost 4 women a day.

While responsibility lies with the perpetrator, at least some of these deaths could be prevented if more of us spoke up when we suspect domestic violence.

But why don’t we?

In some homes and communities domestic violence is normalised and it may be considered futile to intervene. People often take the it’s ‘none of my business’ approach for fear of revenge, uncertainty or a lack of confidence in the police system – supported by the utter incompetence of many courts to give justice to victims.

The more we talk about domestic violence, the more we educate everyone on the circumstances of abuse, the more we combat the ignorance and injustice that plagues conversations surround abuse and assault.

Let’s not turn a blind eye. Let’s make sure Reeva Steenkamp and all the victims of domestic violence do not die or suffer for nothing. Let’s change the conversation.

“As we mourn for Reeva Steenkamp, and all those others who have died at the hands of partners, it’s vital that we see the bigger picture. Because Reeva Steenkamp may have died alone. But her death does not stand in isolation.”

What do you think of Pistorius’ sentence?

 

Angry Rant Sunday: Reddit’s Disgusting New Pro-Rape Message Board

 

It’s time for angry rant Sunday.

I’d like to thank the author of a Reddit ‘pro-rape’ message board entitled “The Philosophy of Rape” for turning a lovely Sunday into a pile of poop.

This message board was set up two weeks ago and the creator has posted a disgusting welcome post which essentially explains that rape has a “very important function in mitigating female behaviour and keeping it in check.”

But oh no, it doesn’t just stop there.

Messages go on to compare women to children with “absolutely no boundaries and no discipline” to targeting “selfie taking, filthy, unmitigated, sluts” before suggesting it is “for the good of society these women need to be raped.”

And what’s easily the most horrifying sentence in the history of ever, “It’s not only morally justifiable to rape such a woman, it’s brave.”

Trust me, it gets worse.

The board even claims to be the place that will teach you how to do it safely. That’s right, there’s such a thing as ‘safe rape’….‘Rape boldly, rape bravely, But when you do it, rape safely!’ and ‘Study reveals female rape victims enjoyed the experience.’

WHAT EVEN IS THAT? THAT IS NOT A THING.

I’m just… I’m baffled.

Fortunately, the majority of those who have joined the message board did  with the best intentions, to shut the board down. One member even claimed they reported the board to the FBI.

Thank heavens there are still sensible people in the world.

Ladies and Gentlemen, this message board is really an example of rape culture at it’s finest.

What on earth possesses someone to think that RAPING SOMEONE is BENEFICIAL to society. It makes me so mad that there are people out there like this that think this is perfectly okay, and have reasoned in their heads that this is a good thing to do.

It just sickens me!

What do you think of this horrifying message board?

 

Awesome Person Of The Week: Lena Dunham

*Warning: Some descriptions may be triggering*

‘Girls’ creator and actress, Lena Dunham has bravely opened up about her date rape ordeal in college and her struggle with being a rape survivor.

In her new memoir, “Not That Kind Of Girl: A Young Woman Tells You What She’s “Learned,” Lena bravely speaks about her experiences of sexual assault and how she struggled to come to terms with defining her encounter as rape and her original (and completely false) belief that she was to blame.

“All I knew when I stumbled home from a party behind him was that he was sullen, thuggish, and a poor loser at poker. How that led to intercourse was a study in the way revulsion can quickly become desire when mixed with the right muscle relaxants.”

Unfortunately, like a lot of rape victims she was frightened and unsure if what happened classified as rape and immediately assumed it was her fault, a never-ending consequence of the pervasive victim-blaming culture within society.

“I feel like there are fifty ways it’s my fault. I fantasized. I took the big pill and the small pill, stuffed myself with substances to make being out in the world with people my own age a little bit easier. I was hungry to be seen. But I also know that at no moment did I consent to being handled that way. I never gave him permission to be rough, to stick himself inside me without a barrier between us. I never gave him permission. In my deepest self I know this, and the knowledge of it has kept me from sinking.”

Dunham admits it had taken some time for her to come to terms with the fact that she’d been raped in the first place, admitting that for a long time after she was physically and emotionally affected

” I spent so much time scared,” Dunham said. “I spent so much time ashamed, I don’t feel that way anymore. And it’s not because of my job, it’s not because of my boyfriend, it’s not because of feminism — though all those things helped — it’s because I told the story. And I still feel like myself and I feel less alone.”

She goes on to thank her best friend for identifying her experience as rape and legitimising her pain for her, which goes to show the importance of supporting someone who has gone through such a trauma.

“When I shared it with my best friend and she used the term ‘you were raped’ at the time, I sort of laughed at her and thought like, you know, what an ambulance-chasing drama queen,” Dunham continued. “[I] later felt this incredible gratitude for her for giving me that, giving me that gift of that kind of certainty that she had. I think that a lot of times when I felt at my lowest about it, those words in some way actually lifted me up because I felt that somebody was justifying the pain of my experience.”

So much importance should be placed on supporting victims of rape and avoiding the shame or excuse game when survivors open up about their traumas.

Dunham’s story really encapsulates the messiness and confusion inherent in some instances of sex, coupled with a misogynist and prevalent rape culture that surrounds current rape discourse to the point where victims blame themselves or are unwilling to speak out and report their assault. This calls for continuing cultural discourse on the confusing definition of rape and the prevalent misconceptions that surround the experiences of rape culture.

At the end of the day, women like Lena Dunham… who are brave enough to speak out and share their stories are vital for perpetuating a society that refuses to ignore rape survivors and their experiences.

Four for you Lena Dunham.. for being a truly awesome role model for those who have suffered sexual assault!

Not That Kind Of Girl: A Young Woman Tells You What She’s “Learned” is in stores now.

Victim-blaming: the betrayal of trust and erosion of justice

Victim-blaming: the betrayal of trust and erosion of justice.

Shocking Survey: One in five Australians believe drunk women ‘partly responsible’ for rape

A national survey conducted by VicHealth has found that “one in five Australians believe drunk women ‘partly responsible’ for rape”.

The poll surveyed over 17,500 people via phone and found that one in six people believe that that when women say no to sex, they mean yes.

“We are really concerned about the number of people – men and women – who still believe that rape and physical violence are justifiable, and that women are often partly to blame. A culture that excuses rape and violence is one that allows it to happen,” VicHealth CEO Jerril Rechter said.

Given that younger people are generally more open to sexuality and human rights we would think they would be more educated on issues regarding sexual assault… Right?

Wrong.

Young people between the ages of 16 and 25 generally had poorer attitudes about sexual assault. 

“VicHealth believes we need to focus our efforts on the younger generation to teach them how to nurture equal, caring, respectful partnerships throughout their lives. All women deserve to be respected as men’s equals and to be safe, but sadly this is not the case for so many in Australia right now.”

It’s not only our attitudes towards sexual assault that is alarming, but the ever occurring untrue myths that perpetuate falsities surrounding rape, domestic violence and sexual assault.

Such myths, including that men rape because they can’t control their need for sex, demonstrate an abysmal societal understanding of the nature of violence. Violence is a choice. It is always a crime, and it is never excusable.

This is incredibly eye opening and downright frightening in terms of the culture surrounding victim blaming. This survey highlights the need in a shift in the way we understand rape and its consequences, but also in the way we educate our young people on sexual assault and harassment to combat this negative stigma.

The main influence on people’s attitudes to violence against women is their understanding of the issue and in turn, how supportive they are of gender equality. And we cannot change preconceived notions of sexual assault and violence without establishing proper education and awareness.

What do you think of this survey?

Should we have a right to be worried about the current attitudes surround sexual assault?